My Faith Grew
It’s been two months since I sat in that hospital bed and my faith grew.
Over the time-span of one year our family had been turned upside down and inside out. My health had declined due to pain and medication (for the pain I had been enduring). At the same time, a financial hardship had fallen on us.
It did not make sense (financially) for me to be in a hospital bed. It did not make sense that I had surgery on my spine by a neurosurgeon I had just met.
But, it did make sense that God had orchestrated the 24 hours that changed my entire perspective on life and my faith grew.
- While I had spent the past year praying for God to
- take my pain away, he had not done so
- end our financial problems, he had not done so
- While I had attempted to return to work and help resolve our problems, I had been unable to…
Every path we had taken seemed to lead to a dead end. But Faith woke us up every morning to a new day.
God… gave me faith to persevere, just as he had given it to Jesus the night he fell to his face three times and begged for the cup to be taken…
And in his weakest most difficult moment, Jesus said “Not my will, but yours be done.”
For so long, I have wanted to really show my children what it’s like to live in this world without being of it. I’ve wanted to give them an example of a Mother who holds onto the faith given to her by a loving Father. I’ve wanted to show them that everything around them is only here for us to use for His glory…
That is what I wanted and that is exactly what the Lord has provided.
He gave me the gift of faith. The gift of faith has given me the ability to persevere through some dark moments. It is easy to say “you’ll make it through and God is with you…” But you really can’t say that until you have walked a road that is similar to one another person has travelled on.
God has given me this journey, to grow my faith for his glory. I know that. I also know he has given me this beautiful gift because you might need someone to sit and say:
“Mama, you are NOT alone. My road is similar. There will be days when you just can’t stand or walk because the pain (physical or emotional) is too much… but you are NOT alone and God is with you. He has not abandoned you, nor has HE forsaken you. Just hold on and let go. Hold on to his hand and let go of the idea that you can control this. Just let him love you and give you an amazing gift of faith that He can’t give you in any other way….”