Mommy Martyrdom

Motherhood will bring you to your knees and often face down before the Lord.  In my 26 years of parenting, I have found myself at the end of my own resources countless times. It’s here I’ve learned the most about God’s provision. 

Some of us begin motherhood with great expectations and some of us with fear and trepidation.  There’s something about being totally responsible for another human being that can shake us to our very core.

mommy martyrdom provision

We want only the best for our kids and we will give up more than we ever thought we could to make sure that happens.  But here’s the thing: in and of ourselves, we have severely limited resources.  Ask any mom who’s sleep deprived, dealing with a stubborn toddler, caring for a special needs child, navigating the teen years, homeschooling or the numerous other challenges of parenting…she will likely say what I’ve said many, many times…”I’ve got nothin’!”

It’s easy to feel discouraged

The problem with being in this particular space is that it’s easy to feel discouraged, despondent, depressed and even despairing.  From there it’s a very short trip to a notorious and well known place I like to call “Mommy Martyrdom”.

Now before I go any further, let me be completely transparent:  my family will tell you that I have worn this badge of “Mommy Martyrdom” more times than I’d like to admit.  I’ve drug my family through little (and big) mommy fits of being the victim and it was NOT pretty.  It was also not helpful.  It was also NOT true.

Now really, what mom hasn’t used guilt to try and move her children to action?  What wife hasn’t so desperately wanted to get her husband’s attention and tender loving care when she’s tired, worn out and frazzled that she resorts to an attitude of martyrdom?  After all, wives and moms seem to be the standard for self sacrifice and dedication, often to their own detriment.

But here’s the thing:  God never intended for us to make some of those sacrifices.  Yes, you heard me right.  Sometimes we are simply not good stewards of our energy and resources and we forget to ask God what HE really wants.  Yes, there ARE times God calls us to copious amounts of sacrifice and laying down our own desires and agenda for someone else, but we can’t for one minute believe that He wants us to do that without His grace and certainly not to the point of being or feeling we are the victim.

He wants to redeem

You see, when Jesus died on the cross and rose again, it was about so much more than going to heaven one day (although that would be enough in itself!).  Jesus wants to redeem the here and now.  He wants to take what Satan means for evil and use it for good.  He wants to take our seemingly impossible life circumstances and redeem them!  It starts with changing the way we see.  Do we believe that He loves us and want to bring redemption into every area of our lives?  Do we believe that His love for us is so deep and wide and strong that nothing can touch us without His permission…and if He allows something in our lives, that He wants to work powerfully through it?  If something doesn’t seem right to us, do we go after it with the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit asking for wisdom and redemption?

Choose your own mentality

The older I get the more I discover how truly amazing, loving kind, ever present and caring our God really is.  I sometimes wonder if He ever gets tired of us complaining about our circumstances because we’ve already forgotten about the times that He has so clearly intervened on our behalf.  In fact, over the last several months I have found myself doggedly determined to ditch any victim mentality that might try take over my thought life.

The Bible is absolutely spot on when it tells us that battleground really is in the mind.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 says:

 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

And Philippians 4:8:

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

provision

Satan knows that if we are convinced that we are helpless, that’s all we will ever be.  When we feel helpless we feel paralyzed and when we feel paralyzed, we become apathetic. The enemy’s number one weapon is apathy.  What battle has EVER been won with apathetic soldiers?  Satan knows that if we are convinced that we are helpless, that’s all we will ever be.  He’s a liar and the father of lies.  WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. We are DAUGHTERS of the Most High King.  We are redeemed, renamed, restored.  The work is already complete, we just need to WALK IN IT.   Oh, our feelings may tell us otherwise, but let’s NOT make decisions based on our feelings.  Instead, let’s make them based on what we KNOW to be true.  Let it be our KNOWING, not our feeling, that gives us direction.  

Receive His provision. Hold your head high, mom, KNOW who God is, who YOU are in Him and don’t let anything or anyone keep you from walking in all that God has for you!

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Durenda Wilson
Durenda Wilson has been married for 27years. She is the mom of eight children and nana to four. After more than twenty years of homeschooling, Durenda knows that home educating is an incredible blessing—but only if you don't let it hold you hostage to unnecessary expectations and notions of what it "should" look like. One of her favorite things is helping parents think simply and outside the box so they can homeschool confidently and in a lifestyle that works for their family.

Durenda has a simple, mercifully short book on homeschooling called The Unhurried Homeschooler available at Amazon.
Posted on: July 4, 2017, by : Durenda Wilson

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